Frustration

June 22, 2009 at 12:41 pm (Life) ()

I was asked in my job to explore the world of “new media” and determine how best to utilize it for our clients. Well after a year or so I began to feel more comfortable within this media and started to craft proposals. It was only last week that one of these proposals was complimented and I was told we would look further into this new venture. I am frustrated my lack of action, I am at my wits end because I am attempting to craft an appointment press release that I feel is sufficient but I have not been given any guidance, edits, criticism etc. I am frustrated. I am advising a younger person on choices in college and being an adult. They are stuck in one form of thinking and unable to see the bright blue sky staring at them and I am frustrated. More days than not I feel this sense of stalemate. Nothing is going to change and there is no end in sight. I fight the up hill battle but some days I just want to sit and say to heck with it all I don’t want to do a darn thing but sit and why can’t that be enough at least for today.

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Book Review

June 3, 2009 at 3:35 pm (Books) ()

My mother a few years ago gave me two books that had to do with being a bride and getting married. Now that I am engaged I have started to read them. So far, my reaction to the books is they are a load pooh and I don’t mean the fuzzy sweet bear. Society baffles me I have accepted each change in my life and I feel open to discuss these changes with my life partner and those people I have chosen to surround myself with. I have been with the same man for almost 10 years and if anyone dares say to me “are you sure about this” when I rant about how he forgot to do the dishes a. doesn’t really know me b. I will very explicitly explain to them how despite the fact that this man drives me insane somedays I can’t imagine anyone else in the world I would rather have drive me insane. I can be very verbal when I have to be. These book seem to have been written for women who keep their feeling bottled and don’t express opening what is going on in their head. I get in trouble many days for being to expressive. It talks about how I should be feeling like a part of me is dieing as I am reborn as a wife. Nope. In fact I take a bit of offense to this. I say each change, child, adult, wife, mother etc. is a progression, a growth. I still have a part of that child in me. The child part of me loves to play on the swing, look at the world for the lovely colors, jumps in rain puddles and loves openly and honestly. I am still reading these books because I am curious next how they explain the death of adulthood and the birth of being a wife. But I was compelled to share this small load with the few who read this random cascade of thoughts.

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Opposites Attract

June 1, 2009 at 1:29 pm (Life) ()

Jim was raised old fashioned, a man gets married when he can provide for his family.

I was raised to be independent and take care of myself.

Jim loves to camp.

I consider roughing it a hotel without room service (I do enjoy the woods more – now)

Jim loves the beach.

I burn in the sun.

I love to swim

Jim sinks.

Jim can sing

I make people cringe.

I can burn water.

Jim makes the best meals.

I am blind as a bat

Jim has better than perfect vision.

Jim loves bad cheesy movies

I love the theatre

I’m short

Jim is tall

Jim can’t sit still.

I can sit for hours and not move a muscle.

I love animals.

Jim eats them.

Jim loves the cold

I’m always cold

I love to dance

Jim likes to watch

Jim loves rollercoasters

I throw up on the kiddie rides (just ask him)

I gain weight just looking at junk food

Jim has an insatiable sweet tooth

Jim’s favorite drink is milk

I’m lactose intolerant

I drink wine

Jim drinks beer

Jim can be impatient at times

I waited 10 years.

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The story of us

June 1, 2009 at 1:28 pm (Life) ()

           Jim and I met in 1999, however we went to the same high school, had similar friends, I was a member of a candle processional at his graduation and I frequented the movie theatre where he worked. But we never met.

            One day I went into the theatre with some of my girlfriends and was struck by this goofy cute guy behind the counter (Jim). After the girls and I sat down I quickly got back up and found one of my friends who worked at the theatre. I was going to ask about the cute guy but as luck would have it my friend came to me because the cute guy(Jim) wanted to know about one of my girlfriends. She was tall, and skinny (I am short and stocky) I figured I wasn’t his type and let it go.

            As the summer progressed we became friends. My best friend and I hung out almost every night with Jim and his friends that worked at the theatre. We (Jim and his buddy, my friend and I) made plans to go on a camping trip one summer night. I would get Jim and she could hook up with the other guy. Needless to say that didn’t happen by the end of the night Jim was with her and I was left vomiting up vodka into the campfire.  I grew closer to Jim as a friend during the summer and began to love him as my best friend.

            The summer ended and everyone went back to school. One night back at college my friend called to tell me she was leaving Jim for someone else. Well I love my friend but I didn’t want to lose Jim. So she and I talked I wished her well but told her I was staying friends with Jim.  A month or so passed and one night Jim and I found ourselves a little tipsy at a friends house and crashed on a futon together. We stayed up all night talking about why we could only be friends that lasted till about 4am; then we kissed. I knew things would never be the same.  We tried to hide how we felt, that lasted a day.

            As the years have passed we realize we came together when we were supposed to. Our lives ran parallel but now they are together. I don’t think we were ready for each other before than and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Having him as a friend, loving him, and respecting him first as a friend has only strengthened our relationship.  For a long time people questioned why we didn’t get married. We were in no rush, we knew in our hearts this was forever and the piece of paper only made it official. We have seen marriages fail and friendships falter. Now we are going to make it official.

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